


Already gone

by askmyknife



Series: Broken Souls [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Song Lyrics, broken souls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12926262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmyknife/pseuds/askmyknife
Summary: Loki can only see colors when Thor touches him. He soon finds out this means he is a broken soul, which can only see colors when he is whole; when he is with his other half.All is well until he learns the truth about who he really is.A stolen relic.





	Already gone

* * *

Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all the memories they're haunted

* * *

It had started when they were very young. The first time Thor took Loki's hand when they were children, he had seen the world for what it really was. Beautiful. Colorful. And he had been so surprised, so happily surprised. Of course he had never told a soul, because he was afraid people would think he was silly to think that touching someone gave a blind man their vision.   
  
But, as he grew older, he came across a tale in the royal library about two broken souls; that only became whole once they touched, and finally, _finally_ they could see the world as it truly was, with all its colors, all its scents.  
  
He closed the book instantly afterwards, afraid of what he would read next.  
  
He did however keep the book, bringing it in his room. When he was older, he fully read it again. It read; _'Two broken souls only can be fully happy once together.'_. And his heart broke at that; because he knew he could never truly be with Thor; Thor was his brother.  
  
He thus closed the book and threw it against his wall before leaving, going to his mother for more explanations, without even mentionning the fact that the colours appeared only when he was with Thor, only when _Thor_ touched him. No. He only mentionned how he saw everything in black and white, and she comforted him saying that someday, he would meet a fine lady that would help him see the colours.  
  
"But what if I find her and she is with someone else? What if it is impossible for me to be with her?"  
  
"Oh, Loki. You are not the only broken soul out there. There is more than one other half for you, my love," she reassured him.  
  
Only, this didn't reassure him at all. Although it told him that he wasn't going to face a life without love, it made him realize that Thor probably had already found someone else. Maybe Lady Sif?  
  
He dared not ask.  
  
But once he came back to his own room, he saw Thor reading the bookand he paled instantly. He swallowed hard, fearing for the worst.  
  
"Thor, this book is only a children's fairytale--" He chuckled nervously.  
  
"It is not," Thor replied, frowning as he looked up at him. "How long have you known?"  
  
"Known what?" he asked innocently; perhaps he had not read enough to know the implications.  
  
"That we were meant to be," Thor replied, and Loki felt like his heart would explode.  
  
"I--" he began, about to explain that it didn't matter, that their mother had told him about how there were many other broken souls and it didn't _mean_ they were meant to be.  
  
But Thor cut him off before he could place another word, and kissed him.  
  
And of course, Loki kissed him back. And swore never to tell Thor the truth.

* * *

I didn't want us to burn out, I  
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

* * *

  
The coronation was approaching, and Loki was certain he would get the crown. Hell, so was Thor; Thor cared not who had it, they would rule together regardless. They had a pact: they just waited for the one who would rise to the throne and once they were king, they would marry one another and none of it would matter anymore.  
  
But in the back of Loki's mind was always the fear that perhaps Thor would find someone else. Someone better. Hs true half.  
  
The guilt was starting to eat him alive the more they approached the coronation day, until, it was Thor that was coronated.  
  
Loki was confused, to say the least. Why him? Loki had always been the one prepared, the one ready for the throne? His anger was like no other. Thor reassured him that it wouldn’t matter in the end , because both would rule _together_ , but Loki had to know. He had to know why.  
  
He thus went to face his father, tears of anger in his eyes.  
  
“Why him? Why, Father? You know just as well as I that I am the one better suited to be King! I love Thor more than any of you, but you must admit that he is arrogant, reckless, and dangerous!” He retorted.  
  
“I agree,” Odin replied.  
  
“Then why, father? Tell me why!”  
  
“I suppose it is time to tell you the truth, Loki,” Odin said calmly before he brought him down to the relics, showing one that came from Jotunheim.  
  
Loki panicked. The truth? What truth? Something about that tone did not make Loki fond of what would come next.  
  
“Touch it,” Odin demanded, and Loki had half a mind to just run away. Maybe not knowing was the best option. Maybe this would simply be another lie to add on the ones he had kept.  
  
But his curiosity bested him. He moved his hand towards it, and without even touching it, his hand turned blue, and so did his arm. He gasped, confused. “What is happening? Am I cursed?”  
  
“You are not cursed, Loki,” Odin replied calmly. “You are a Jotun."  
  
Loki pulled away, not wanting to turn fully into one. His hand thankfully turned back into his usual form, but his eyes showed more distress than it ever. “No,” he replied as he shook his head, moving away from the man he used to call his father. “You are **LYING**!”  
  
“I wish I was, my son.”  
  
“I am- I a-am a _monster!_ The monster people tell their children at night! The monsters Thor swore to destroy once he will be King!” He began shaking, the tears in his eyes soon falling down his cheeks.  
  
“I am truly sorry, Loki. But I retrieved you when you were simply a baby. You were left there to die. I never lied when I said you were meant to be King. But you were never meant to be King of Asgard.”  
  
It didn’t take long for Loki to piece everything together. “I am Laufey’s son…”  
  
“Yes,” Odin replied. “You must understand, Loki. it would be fraud to have someone else than Thor be on the throne. You must know it was nothing against who you are.”  
  
Loki left a sarcastic laughter move past his lips. “Nothing against who I am! This has everything to do with who I am underneath this LIE!”  
  
“Please, my son.”  
  
“I am ** _NOT_** your son! I am merely a stolen relic, who will never be good enough for the throne!” He vociferated before he readied himself to leave.  
  
“I am truly sorry, Loki. I thought you deserved the right to know. I will not share this with anyone else.”  
  
Loki didn’t say another word before he walked out and left Odin alone.

* * *

We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our face held high  
It never would have worked out right  
We were never meant for do or die

* * *

Loki went back to his room, using his magic to break everything around him. He made sure to have a silencing charm around his room before he screamed at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his damp cheeks. He was faced with the realization that his whole life was a lie, and Odin would now do everything in his power not to have Loki on the throne. So whatever he had planned with Thor— it would go to ruins. At least now he didn’t have on his mind the fact that he was related to Thor to stop him from being with him; they were never brothers.   
  
But this was worse. Loki was a monster. A stolen relic. A Jotun. Made to be colder than ice, with bloodshot eyes. Everything, everything was a lie.  
  
And he knew Odin would do everything in his power to ensure that his only son never married a monster like Loki was.  
  
Loki didn’t want to face this. He didn’t want Thor to know. He didn’t want Thor to look at him with the look of disgust on his face when he would find out the truth.  
  
And so with his mind set, he walked out of his room and went to Thor’s.  
  
“We must talk,” Loki began, not even bothering to hide the tears that had fallen down his cheeks.

* * *

I want you to know  
It doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go

* * *

 

“I am leaving,” Loki took a deep breath. Those words were harder to say than he thought. 

* * *

And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone

* * *

  
“I lied,” he replied, giving him the book. “Or rather, withheld the truth. That night, when you said we were meant to be. We are not. If you finish reading, you will see that any two broken souls can see colours together. And if once you find your perfect match, the colours will only become brighter,” he explained, his heart heavy. “But mine has started to fade. We are not meant to be, brother. Never were.”

* * *

Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
Doesn't always make you want to cry

* * *

  
“So farewell, brother,” Loki finished. “I have to search for my broken half. I’m quite certain you will find yours soon enough.”


End file.
